Yesterday & Today!

Today started out with coffee and a chat with kitties who tailed me incessantly, dreaming of breakfast. They sure have a one track mind. At least, they are predictable when they want to be. Yesterday, I made it quiet and had a quiet time as well. Both days have been rainy, and there are budding flowers on the tree outside.

I think I want Life to be like this too, sometimes, not to be a Control Freak, but so when it counts, I want to be on top of things. So I won't get get stressed out about things.

I re-found a fitness blog that I first thought primed me to start moving and circulating my legs and other parts that seemed overly sedentary. When I first became an interneter, that site really helped me a lot. Today, she posted music to work out to, which is great, because music is a great motivator to me when I don't want to move for exercise. I like her idea to motivate her readers toward fitness.
She is a writer, so that is another motivational area for me to visit.

Yesterday, I visited E's site in France and found out about a new singer. She had that clear resounding voice that you would hear in the 70s when there was less pollution in the air. Just kidding! The song, "Ice Hotel" sounded like the voice was emanating from prisms or something.



Remembrances of Things Past:

I found a site (music channel)of someone on You Tube today. The site played this song for an actress who was popular during the 70s. I remember her photos always being splashed onto the screen when I was a child. I didn't know who she was. She was mostly featured in programming that didn't make sense to me at the time. So I wasn't overly curious about her. All I remember was the word "doll" was around her a lot. She looked like dolls or models of that time period also in commercials or things people said about her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAiQ8ctAHGg&feature=fvw (song)
http://www.youtube.com/user/ilovemarciabrady#g/a (site)

Coming back and viewing her as an adult, I was able to look at her and remember her face. They never froze the pictures long enough to study the face or get to know who they were. The words always played so fast, so you couldn't even know their names.
So now, going back, helps me connect to the past, a past I didn't even realize I had been around.

I also looked at You Tube commercials of actresses and actors from the past. I don't always remember if I understood what they were talking about. I do remember the scenes were sad and moody. The depth of their acting always got to me. I felt that their seriousness was a malaise, and I wished desperately for a malady or cure for people to escape the trauma of their lives. As a child, I could not name it, though.
I seemed to identify with the story line of American lives somehow,and it made me want to connect with the problems as I aged.

I felt a presence over the lives of characters or people in real life that was pervasive in the 70s and 80s. The Nineties were a time of hectic - ness for me. I never stopped long enough to live life then, I believe. Being everywhere became a kind of a high for me. I never even knew that others were begrudging me that time.
I always remembered the words of that song at that time: "always up, always down, always round and round and round." That's how I felt back then also.

The 2000s have been calmer and quieter, although people still want me to perform like I was a teen or something. Sometimes, it feels like they are new to the country, and they have just started watching tv, and they think of women like slaves or objects to use or abuse. Or this is coming back to the culture somehow? I always knew it was somehow there, but I couldn't name it. (Or maybe, it was cultural?)

If you smiled, they thought it was for them. If you wore a skirt, they thought it was for them, anything you did was objectified. I wonder if people can stay in this illiterate or uneducated state forever. Will they ever move out of it and let us walk, let us dress, or speak or even think without making it seem like women are in a very, very, very bad porn movie or something? I think these people must be stuck watching only tv or only videos, and they are not educated enough to be around people.

Instead of viewing them as sex objects, can they educate themselves to see the true reason for women, the magic of women, the gift of women, the reason God made women? Is it enough for them to equate women with only a cheap state of mind?

I still remember this guy leering at me when I was ten. I remember I was wearing a skirt that was mid-calf length. He was looking at my legs like a man would look at a woman and not at a child. In my mind, I knew I was encountering a very stupid type of male, possibly a drunk, or someone very low-class about how they saw women. I wondered if I looked older to him or something. I felt like telling him,

"Excuse me, Spanish guy! I am only ten -years- old. Stop looking at me like I am older."

Of course, I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers back then. I still believe men are stupid this way, whether you are ten or not, is totally irrelevant.
Then they sneered at you like you were tempting or teasing them on purpose by the way you were dressed or sat or even were. Mainly, I remember wishing he wasn't staring. I was hungry also for lunch, because we had gone through a Swim Class in which I had nearly drowned. I was rescued, however, and I felt my family came through for me that day.

Men!!!

Anyway, I am glad I am safe from their jeers, sneers, and other lies they make up about women to not feel guilty about their idiotic opinions about women. This kind of culture is so pervasive everywhere around here. I remember one girl at Starbucks, a new immigrant, once telling me, "I feel like telling them to back off!" I knew what she was talking about. I also knew that she didn't stay there that long.

Is going outside to men, a stage, where women are only objects to abuse verbally?
It can be very disgusting at times.

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I like having coffee alone without the perps around.

This is heaven right now!

Time for me!

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!