Habits

About twenty years ago, I met some people at a retreat in Michigan. Most of them were students, and a few were adults. It was a nice mix of people. I found that part of the retreat's program involved disappearing for some time in the early morning. That period was called "quiet time." There were other phrases people used, but I liked the phrase, "quiet time" the best. While you were there, you were encouraged to make the time yours, to remain isolated, to walk about and commune with nature. Then there were breaks in between for breakfast, after quiet time, and then there was time for group activities as well. While it has been many, many years since I attended that retreat, I remember meeting certain of those people.

Two, especially, were not of the group I came with, and two attended my college, although I didn't know them that well. The rest attended the same church with me.
One thing was clear about the whole group. There were all there to find discipline in themselves and their spiritual walk with God. One would possibly be surprised that young people would even set apart this time to go when summer events from all over the city called to them.

There was one person I kept in touch with for a little while. I would find him in quiet spots reading and writing. Once I stopped by to say hi. Years later, I looked him up, and his family told me he was in France, and that he would love to hear from me. Then one bright morn, I received a post card from him. Although we hardly spoke at the retreat, we were able to carry on a correspondence for a brief while by mail.
I think I did write back to him and was so thrilled that he was studying in Paris.

Another man I saw was walking dejectedly along the strand. He and I spoke for a little bit, and we connected over some sad matters. Those were the reasons he was here, he said. He also wanted to do some soul - searching and get things resolved inside himself. I told him that I had faith he would do so. We, too, connected over that time, and he gave me some advice at the end, which was to remember to be careful about the people I chose to befriend and trust in the future. Not all may be in my corner. I still remember those words over the years. I know little about these people, but I remember talking to them at this spiritual level, and I know that if I looked them up again, we would remember one another.

The girls I got to know taught me the simple elements of grace, faith, and waiting. They modeled the simple feminine graces to me, and the industriousness that comes with purpose. They were able to model this, because they had been around this before.
Some had this within themselves all their lives. Even if we never talked like we were best friends, they motivated me to live a better life when I was alone. It is easier to live life to please others, but it mattered what you did when you were alone also. From time to time, I still see them around, even if we don't have time to talk. You know that you know one another, and not much else is needed.

I had been to retreats before during grade school and high schools, and this one was just as wonderful, because to experience it at a much older age brought things to light more so than before. I miss those days, meeting the right crowd.

Today, as I venture about, I have to look over my shoulder each time. I can't find anyone really around here who cares to meet you. They model the wrong behaviors to everyone. They badmouth people to hold people back, and they think they are doing this, so they can "get ahead." They have the wrong kind of discipline, the kind that teaches bad behavior. It feels as if they have no conception of what this country is about. They act as if they need to burn people out at all times and at all places.

I wish there was a place for me to get away from them. I know this will be tough, because they try to follow me with this crazy frenzied existence that they inhabit within themselves. They are against others, nature, God, and incredibly, even themselves. These are the type of people who don't model good citizenship or even an American identity.

I can try to make excuses for them and say, well, maybe they are new here, but some have been here a long time.

When they say they believe in democracy, I tend to doubt it. They seem to behave as if they want a cynical, radical leftist state that hates anything "American" or resembles the "American" model. They call it "change," but I wonder if it is a true reform they are after, or everyone's money.

Money is essentially from God, if you trace it all the way back. We only benefit, because He is the ultimate treasurer. The storehouses seem to be depleted at all times here. They don't have a way to distribute it the correct way. In fact, even if there is a plan, there are abusers or blind implementations. The hand and the foot don't know what they're doing.

They decried the whole Carp situation. I even feel, perhaps we are being punished now, because of the mistake people made. They make the Carp the enemy, and they make other things the enemy instead of figuring out how we got here in the first place.

If we had a retreat for people to stop and resolve to do better, I wonder if it would work. These people are so head - strong and rebellious, however, in this game of burning the country out like a dynamite stick. They all seem to have this same mentality and disease. We have too many of them around in government and all areas.
The ones who deplete, and then in order to replace it, they steal from the people and others to put it back. I think this is what the energy today is all about.

Then there are those who are dressing or pretending to be different races to cause a rift between nationalities. This started happening more or less in the nineties. I think they wanted to say I was from other countries, a way to make it easier for others to stereotype and then attack me. The order of insults seems to be sequential: "m-f-----," "negra," "Snitch," "lesbiana," and then it's cyclical again, but the next time, it is as a different race. This sabotage seems to be conducted by the same people, because the behavior is always the same.

They have a definite lust for other people's time, resources, money, and when they are down, they raze the entire state, and the rest of the United States.

I wish I could escape this evil gauntlet. They are not what this country needs.